I'm no elf but I work on Christmas Eve

The so called glamorous life of a makeup artist often sees us working at times when we shouldn't, like Christmas Eve. I did makeup for Bronwyn and her daughters, they were hosting Christmas dinner and this family always goes all out no matter what the occassion. They are great to work with, they always have a fully stocked bar and they never let your glass run dry... my kind of people! .... this is the SPARE fridge, just in case!

Misery loves company so I was thrilled that Shane was the chosen photographer for the evening, hey if I'm gonna work then someone I know had better be working too. And Shane isn't just someone I know, he is my gay husband's husband, Days of Our Lives! Shane and I both invited him to join us as Bronwyn's family are cool like that, but he ditched us for some stupid online gaming thing, on Christmas Eve!! It was really nice though cause I've never had the chance to spend time with Shane alone, he normally leaves us girls to chit chat. In between working we had a long talk about religion and life, really interesting stuff....is it legal to marry my gay husband's husband? Hmmm I think I should schedule separate visits with each of them from now on!

The only downside to having Shane and his fast fingers there was getting caught pretending to make out with a giraffe, and then being forced to pose for a proper photo! I hate photos of myself!


Holy mother of dwarves my skin is snow white!!

Christmas in this house is more fun than most. Even the Christmas stockings are more fun!

There was also a mobile bar with a cute barman who put on a great flaring show which I totally interpreted as lets-blow-this-popsicle-stand-and-go-live-on-an-island. My hands kept being given yet another fancy cocktail so I didn't manage to get a pic of him (that's not a good enough excuse I know!) but Shane has plenty pics from that night, I just need to make a note to nag him and update this post accordingly (don't hold your breaths people...look, a pretty flower in my drink...see how distracting it is, even you forgot about the cute barman for a second!)

So what does a dad who has everything want for Christmas? A piano that plays itself of course! Super cool right? Let me tell you, when you walk into the room and no one else is there and the piano is playing itself you start believing in the Ghost of This Is Your Last Christmas! What the hell is in these cocktails?? I think the barman is trying to get me drunk!

.

She makes it look easy

How's this pic? A bit of a mind fuck right? When you first see it you need to stare at it for a couple of seconds to figure out what's going on.

I frikken love this pic! When Johann sent it to me my first thought was 'DAMN I wish I was part of shoots like this', then the couple of seconds kicked in and my next thought was 'OH MY GOD THAT'S FROM OUR SHOOT!!!!!!!'. I WAS part of shoots like this.

Little Miss SpiderGirl is one of the most insane models I have ever worked with. No, scratch that, she is THEE most insane person I know! You could tell her to wear nothing but a piece of dental floss, strap a chandelier to her head, rub moose poop on her face then jog around Antarctica and she would say 'I'm on it, hold my smokes', although it might take her away from her spot in the limelight on reality tv creating drunken lesbians! I love this girl. She's a tough cookie. A fun looney loud cookie with a gooey centre... yeah when she repeats that she's gonna make it sound like I want a piece of her gooey cookie and then she's gonna fondle my boobs and tell me how much she missed them. Love her.

Back to the photo. The day we shot this it was freezing cold. Us behind-the-scenes folk were wearing 6 layers of winter woolies and huddled around a fire (okay fine I was the only one squealing like a stuck pig about the cold). SpiderGirl in her itty bitty outfit scaled the wall and hung around (literally) until we had the perfect shot. And just to show how much we love her and didn't want to see her fall off the wall and get squished like a bug the boys rushed to help her get down
I'm surrounded by gentlemen. And a hot little stick of dynamite that could take them all down! I love my job!

I love my job!

*drool*
yes I got to powder this boy's nose... of course it was absolutely necessary to get real close and press my body against his, there just wasnt any other way to get the look done

I want to eat black skin because it reminds me of chocolate

I love doing makeup on black girls (should I be saying ethnic, african, girls of colour,previously disadvantaged?.....build a bridge), foundation seems to melt onto their skin and really makes it look like chocolate. One day, if I'm very hungry I fear I may just nibble a black cheek, or I might just sneak in a lick while pretending to do a close up makeup check.

I also love old people skin, the really wrinkly crepey kind that hangs off cheeks, chins and elbows (I especially love elbow skin!). I often want to touch old strangers; standing in line at the bank and I stand a little too close to the old duck in front so my hand brushes against her elbow "hello mam can I help you stand, you must be so tired" *handful of elbow skin = bliss*. I was standing in a queue the other day and this old man in front of me had this mass of loose skin under his chin, he looked like a turkey, I was mesmerized - I would pay good money to fondle it just for a few seconds *"Hi, my name is Stavvie, I'm a weirdo""Hiiiiiiiiii, Staaavvieee"*

How fab is this hair?? Yours truly had her hands in there. The super talented model Fikile made the shoot spectacular, she is extremely versatile and dedicated.

Shane Smith the great photographer (he's also my gay husbands husband - one big happy family!) put so much effort into planning this shoot and the results speak for themselves (Results say: "these pics are fab")

Another versatile model whose portfolio just keeps getting better and better, Joyce (why cant I remember black girls surnames??). This was Bruce K Cantrell's (http://www.brucekcantrell.com/) idea, at first I was a bit sceptical but I reckon it turned out pretty alright



Here's Joyce again for a shoot done with Luba Nel, it was for a jewellery store and some of the pics were used in the newspaper for advertising, still so exciting to see my work out there