He's not one of us

Jordan: "You are gonna love Ramese!"
Gillian: "He is so funny!"
Nick: "He is one of us, you'll see"

So off I went to Cape Town to meet the infamous Ramese Mathews (http://www.rawelectrik.co.za/) ... well I tried, this man cant give directions to save his life or any starving Ethiopian kids. We finally arrived at the McDonalds starving (they had already eaten and scratched their butts by this time) and his first words were "can you take that takeaway?". Now, it seems to be a universal rule that makeup artists like and NEED food, dont get between a hippo... I mean makeup artist.... and their food! So V (http://www.modelbase.co.za/6319) and I already didnt like him. We got to the shoot and found out that no one had brought any alcohol for us *insert universal rule re makeup artists, tfcd and alcohol*, but we worked our magic regardless until about 3pm when we downed tools and refused to work anymore until we had downed some alcohol! STRIIIIIIKE! After arguing back and forth about who would go buy the alcohol, Ramese finally agreed to go. V offered him money for the booze and so did I, then he did the unspeakable........he took the money!!!!!! We were just being polite for Pete's sake!!! Tribal council has spoken... he is not one of us

But just look at the purdy pickcha he took....Rammy.... this is not an elimination round... you are still in the race *crowd goes wild*

Our gorgeous model is Sharea Mounira Samuels, what a trooper!

I want to eat black skin because it reminds me of chocolate

I love doing makeup on black girls (should I be saying ethnic, african, girls of colour,previously disadvantaged?.....build a bridge), foundation seems to melt onto their skin and really makes it look like chocolate. One day, if I'm very hungry I fear I may just nibble a black cheek, or I might just sneak in a lick while pretending to do a close up makeup check.

I also love old people skin, the really wrinkly crepey kind that hangs off cheeks, chins and elbows (I especially love elbow skin!). I often want to touch old strangers; standing in line at the bank and I stand a little too close to the old duck in front so my hand brushes against her elbow "hello mam can I help you stand, you must be so tired" *handful of elbow skin = bliss*. I was standing in a queue the other day and this old man in front of me had this mass of loose skin under his chin, he looked like a turkey, I was mesmerized - I would pay good money to fondle it just for a few seconds *"Hi, my name is Stavvie, I'm a weirdo""Hiiiiiiiiii, Staaavvieee"*

How fab is this hair?? Yours truly had her hands in there. The super talented model Fikile made the shoot spectacular, she is extremely versatile and dedicated.

Shane Smith the great photographer (he's also my gay husbands husband - one big happy family!) put so much effort into planning this shoot and the results speak for themselves (Results say: "these pics are fab")

Another versatile model whose portfolio just keeps getting better and better, Joyce (why cant I remember black girls surnames??). This was Bruce K Cantrell's (http://www.brucekcantrell.com/) idea, at first I was a bit sceptical but I reckon it turned out pretty alright



Here's Joyce again for a shoot done with Luba Nel, it was for a jewellery store and some of the pics were used in the newspaper for advertising, still so exciting to see my work out there

Published Work

My first cover! oh the excitement! It was a Friday morning when the mag went on sale - I called 5fm for the Reasons-To-Feel-Good bit - "My reason to feel good is that I did makeup for my first cover and its on sale today!"

I have a random friend on Facebook who was chatting quite a lot to me at that time, he sent me a mail asking if it was me he heard on the radio - yes sirreeee it was me! He said it was so weird that he heard my voice on the radio before he even met me. I think I should marry him so we can have a cool story to tell the grandkids

Back to the cover: Model - Maria Ting-Yu Chou, Hair Stylist - Mario Careri (smokes the best cigarettes from Turkey apparently), Photographer - Paul Duffy (crazy Brit, fabulous dark humour, likes to say arse and knob, http://www.paulduffyphoto.com/)

This picture was not specifically shot for the cover - the magazine featured Bruce K Cantrell (http://www.brucekcantrell.com/) and it was chosen from his pics

I love this pic! Very trashy makeup, model lying on the road in skimpy clothes, definitely not her usual look (http://www.jordanleschinsky.com/). This pic is also very sentimental to me because I met my gay husband at that shoot *shows Johann her koeksuster fingers*

This pic was an A4 feature in the above Pix Mag, some more of Bruce K Cantrell's amazing work. The lovely model is Shafiqua du Sart

This pic was taken for stock purposes and appeared in the April '09 issue of Soul mag, no I had never heard of Soul mag before but its still just as exciting to have your pics in an unknown magazine!

Model - the beautiful and very versatile Joyce *makes a note to find out Joyce who*

Photographer - the extremely talented Luba Nel, she is the model's cheerleader while shooting, great fun to watch

This pic also appeared in the April '09 issue of Soul magazine

Model - Joyce (her surname is on the tip of my tongue), Photographer - Luba Nel

My 'I-can-die-now' Pics

I squealed with delight when I first saw this pic, I squealed with delight every time I saw this pic for months afterwards, I still squeal a bit on the inside when I see it. Absolutely adore this pic!

Our gorgeous model, Morne van den Berg, was extremely patient and tolerant. When I said 'Hey maybe I should splash some pink and silver face paint on you then stick these real purdy flowers on top?, he didnt even try put up a fight, he just let me do my thing. Even Johann Marx (our super talented photographer- aka my gay husband - http://www.johannmarx.com/) doubted my idea at first... but now he trusts me :-)

Oh and just a quick heads up - baby wipes and certain face paint colours create an awful stench that will have you thinking the neighbourhood brats have dropped a stink bomb and you will secretly suspect the models pineapple and fish soup diet *scrunches her nose and shakes her head to dislodge the stinky memory*

I heard you squeal! I dont think I will ever tire of looking at this pic - the colours, the styling (our oh-so-fab stylist Miss Jordan Leschinsky, how pretty is she? http://www.jordanleschinsky.com/), the gorgeous model (super gorgeous Esmarilda Dankaert, http://www.esmarildadankaert.com/), and of course the squeal inducing photography, lighting, and postwork by Johann Marx (http://www.johannmarx.com/)


hmmm seems having your name as your website name is what all the kool kids are doing these days

I was asked to do makeup (tfcd aka for free) for a design student, I figured it was just some girl who would need a couple of pics in various outfits she had designed and really wasnt expecting fabulous results but hey we need to look after our friends

I went off to the shoot half expecting to be bored out of my mind but boy was I wrong! The shoot was based on The Corruption of Alice in Wonderland, these design kids went to so much effort to make sure that every single detail was perfect- from the venue (a garden whose gardener I am certain is smoking the mushrooms that grow there) to the miniature curtains in the house that made Alice look like a giant. The outfits were absolutely gorgeous, the models all took on their roles with as much brilliance as Sawyer's bare chest on Lost. I was blown away by how well thought out and executed the entire shoot was, I hung around for the whole day, what an amazing experience


The photographer Nick Raper (aka Fav) did an absolutely amazing job of the post work. Have a look at his work http://www.timeframephoto.co.za/ (www.nickraper.com must have been taken)

Challenge pic

This was given to me as a challenge by Mark Freebs (cant remember how to spell his real surname!) the original challenge pic featured a girl but lo and behold our model cancelled on the day we were supposed to shoot... thank the gods for Simon Tuit who saved the day! this is the most commented on pic in my portfolio *does a victory dance*

The photographer is Johann Marx, fab fab fab, check out his work at http://www.johannmarx.com/