I'm no elf but I work on Christmas Eve

The so called glamorous life of a makeup artist often sees us working at times when we shouldn't, like Christmas Eve. I did makeup for Bronwyn and her daughters, they were hosting Christmas dinner and this family always goes all out no matter what the occassion. They are great to work with, they always have a fully stocked bar and they never let your glass run dry... my kind of people! .... this is the SPARE fridge, just in case!

Misery loves company so I was thrilled that Shane was the chosen photographer for the evening, hey if I'm gonna work then someone I know had better be working too. And Shane isn't just someone I know, he is my gay husband's husband, Days of Our Lives! Shane and I both invited him to join us as Bronwyn's family are cool like that, but he ditched us for some stupid online gaming thing, on Christmas Eve!! It was really nice though cause I've never had the chance to spend time with Shane alone, he normally leaves us girls to chit chat. In between working we had a long talk about religion and life, really interesting stuff....is it legal to marry my gay husband's husband? Hmmm I think I should schedule separate visits with each of them from now on!

The only downside to having Shane and his fast fingers there was getting caught pretending to make out with a giraffe, and then being forced to pose for a proper photo! I hate photos of myself!


Holy mother of dwarves my skin is snow white!!

Christmas in this house is more fun than most. Even the Christmas stockings are more fun!

There was also a mobile bar with a cute barman who put on a great flaring show which I totally interpreted as lets-blow-this-popsicle-stand-and-go-live-on-an-island. My hands kept being given yet another fancy cocktail so I didn't manage to get a pic of him (that's not a good enough excuse I know!) but Shane has plenty pics from that night, I just need to make a note to nag him and update this post accordingly (don't hold your breaths people...look, a pretty flower in my drink...see how distracting it is, even you forgot about the cute barman for a second!)

So what does a dad who has everything want for Christmas? A piano that plays itself of course! Super cool right? Let me tell you, when you walk into the room and no one else is there and the piano is playing itself you start believing in the Ghost of This Is Your Last Christmas! What the hell is in these cocktails?? I think the barman is trying to get me drunk!

.

Pretty Christmas

I recently worked for a tv show, All Access Mzanzi, at Emperor's Palace. We shot in the beautifully festive Garden of Lights - a sparkly light display reminiscent of overeager Americans trying to outdo their neighbour's Christmas efforts.

Excuse the el crappo pics, I blame Blackberry. It's almost 2012, a new Earth has been found, but we still can't take decent pics at night, what's the plan Blackberry?!?




And of course it wouldn't be Christmas without a giant Christmas tree....

......and it most certainly wouldn't be Christmas without some tourists 'stealing' the star with amateur trick photography *STREEEETCH*...
"GOT IT!"
Chips! Chips! Everybody on best behaviour!

Yes it seems like fun but I was not a happy camper that day, I had a scissor accident the previous day which got me 3 stitches in my arm and a tetanus injection that hurt like a bitch! My arm was sore, Emperor's is a loooong drive from home, it was drizzling, it was cold, not a happy camper. But luckily the crew was amazing, they all aaah shamed and made me feel a bit better. Glen the sound guy was like an early Christmas present, he carried all my stuff for me, acted like he actually wanted to be at my pity party, and even got me candy!
It turns out Glen is a Taurus, it's my lot in life to be surrounded by amazing Taurus men! He can also be bullied into meeting me at Burnside's at 10pm to bully them into letting us in to feed my cheesecake addiction. Best cheesecake EVER! Burnside's, you might want to write that down.

The presenter was the super gorgeous Pabi Moloi. She has a larger than life personality, a great smile, laughs like she means it, very down to earth, gracious, sophisticated, curves in all the right places and a wicked sense of humour......God I sound like a match making service! She really is fab though. And those cheekbones!!
Damn you Blackberry! That pic does her no justice! ...*click click stalk steal*....here's a proper pic courtesy of her Twitter profile
Too pretty.

Merry merry and happy happy everybody!

She makes it look easy

How's this pic? A bit of a mind fuck right? When you first see it you need to stare at it for a couple of seconds to figure out what's going on.

I frikken love this pic! When Johann sent it to me my first thought was 'DAMN I wish I was part of shoots like this', then the couple of seconds kicked in and my next thought was 'OH MY GOD THAT'S FROM OUR SHOOT!!!!!!!'. I WAS part of shoots like this.

Little Miss SpiderGirl is one of the most insane models I have ever worked with. No, scratch that, she is THEE most insane person I know! You could tell her to wear nothing but a piece of dental floss, strap a chandelier to her head, rub moose poop on her face then jog around Antarctica and she would say 'I'm on it, hold my smokes', although it might take her away from her spot in the limelight on reality tv creating drunken lesbians! I love this girl. She's a tough cookie. A fun looney loud cookie with a gooey centre... yeah when she repeats that she's gonna make it sound like I want a piece of her gooey cookie and then she's gonna fondle my boobs and tell me how much she missed them. Love her.

Back to the photo. The day we shot this it was freezing cold. Us behind-the-scenes folk were wearing 6 layers of winter woolies and huddled around a fire (okay fine I was the only one squealing like a stuck pig about the cold). SpiderGirl in her itty bitty outfit scaled the wall and hung around (literally) until we had the perfect shot. And just to show how much we love her and didn't want to see her fall off the wall and get squished like a bug the boys rushed to help her get down
I'm surrounded by gentlemen. And a hot little stick of dynamite that could take them all down! I love my job!

Not a snotty family

I did male grooming for a Huisgenoot cover shoot with Snotkop (Francois Henning - formerly known as kwaito singer Lekgoa, made his first kwaito CD in 2000 and then went back to afrikaans music where he signed his first label in 2004 with Next Music and from there he has not looked back *thanks Google*), we shot at his parents home and I am so pleased I got to meet them. His parents are the cutest things! His mom flitted around us and wanted to be sure we were comfortable and thoroughly nourished the entire time. She set out a platter with cupcakes for us, and even laid them out in a pretty pattern, I just had to take a pic:

Mom: "ooh no wait my darling, I'm not finished yet"
Of course not, she wouldn't serve us sweet things without some savoury options too. Bless her
One of the shots was of Francois and his father sitting at a garden table, chatting, laughing, enjoying the sunshine. The photographer asked for some props "some flowers, something to drink?", Mom was on it! She was back in a flash with props in hand.SK: "No Mom, we can't drink brandy in the photos, no, Mom, it's a family magazine!"

Bless her!

The price of shoe addiction

I found the cutest pair of peep toes and just had to have them to show off my hot toe nails... flame hot... yes when it comes to my nails I'm a total dutchman, West Rand all the way baybee!! *lifts her arms in a gangsta pose and holds 3 fingers up on each hand in a W*

I showed off the shoes and nails at a photoshoot open day - a bunch of photographers got together at a new studio to shoot some models.

Once I was done with makeup I trotted up and down making sure my pretties were seen. I even sat at a glass table so I could admire them inbetween sips. Obsessed.

I had worn the shoes earlier in the day and they were a bit too big, but that wasn't going to stop me, I just slipped some gel heel liners in them and was good to go. So apparently vanity is a sin and was punishable by locusts or something in the old days. I was at the shoot and had no clue a locust storm was heading my way. Someone spotted something on the floor....(bottom right)

Someone: "What is that?"
*GASP!*

Twitter update:
StavMUA
My stupid gel heel liner keeps falling out my shoe. Its lying on the floor. Someone thought it was a used condom #mortified

.

Bring the lamb to the slaughter

I have arrived! Again.

My friend Janine posted this on my facebook wall:

Just so you know Miss Stavvie with the always amusing status updates, that when its time for bring a girl child to work (for job shadowing) that you have no choice, you will have Jordan with you - my child is determined to be just like you when she leaves school, lip gloss whore and all! You have a lot to answer for Stavroula! (that last part was said in my best grown up tone!)



Erm Janine... YOU have a lot to answer for!!! Tee hee!

Why my guy friends want to be my makeup assistant

All my guy friends want to assist me on shoots. They say they'll carry my bags. They say they'll help me powder noses. I try talk them down, I try explain how this job isn't all glitz and glam, I try tell them that I often work on extremely boring shoots, I try explain how I don't always work on gorgeous leggy supermodels who prance around naked all day. *SIGH* and then a photographer tags me in pictures like this:

*UPDATE: the pic was removed because the model works for a shitty company that gave her all sorts of threats when they saw it. I say fuck them. But we love her so I took it down. It was a very tastefully done implied nude, you couldn't see her bits because they were covered with sparkly gems. She looked phenomenal!!! Fuck them.*


And then my guy friends pester me. They want to know how I managed to get the gems to stick. I should learn to just shut up but stupid little me thinks they are asking out of pure professional curiosity:

Me: "Well first I gave the model a speech - 'I know this is awkward for you, it's just as awkward for me, but we are going to spend the next half an hour or so getting to know each other really really well, and it's going to be weird but let's just deal with it and act like it's normal, so I'll start with your nipples so they are done first and you feel less naked - "
Boys: "YOU TOUCHED HER NIPPLES??? LET ME CARRY YOUR BAGS!!"
Me: "Oh for Pete's sake, I didn't touch her nipples, my glue did. Anyway, I made a pattern of glue dots and pressed a gem onto each one. And once the top was done we both took a minute to compose ourselves then she lifted up her dress and I started working on the bottom - "
Boys: "SHE WAS NAKED ON THE BOTTOM AND YOU TOUCHED HER??? LET ME CARRY YOUR BAGS!!"
Me: "Oh for fucks sake, I didnt TOUCH her THERE! I poured a generous amount of glue, cut a small hole in the bag of gems and literally poured them over her, that's it, no touching. Wait I'll show you a pic"
Boys: "LET ME CARRY YOUR BAGS!!"

.

Every village has one

I did makeup for a family shoot. A big family. A whole bunch of adult kids, and their spouses, and their respective in-laws. A big family. We did a series of shots and were running out of ideas when someone suggested they each wear something red.

Me: "ooh ooh ooh PLEEEEASSEEE let me give all the girls red lips!"

I have this persuasive/nagging talent, so I got to give all the girls red lips. But what to do with the guys? There was a box of props for them to dig through - a red tie, a red hat, a red scarf, a lot of options really.....

Undercover at a cover shoot

I was on the way to a shoot for Aim's Living Well magazine, the May/June 2011 cover, when I got a call from the tog:

Matt: "You are going to kill me"
Me: "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?"
Matt: "I forgot my camera at home"

To put the problem in perspective it was rush hour traffic time, and 'home' is in Hartebeespoort. We were in Roodepoort. Oops.

So Matt sweet talked his wife and convinced her to bring the camera, and along with that came their 3 kids. 3 kids who decided that being at daddy's office was the perfect chance for prank calling, each other. Each kid ran to a desk and started dialling a sibling's extension number.

"Hello Mrs Smith, you need to come fetch your child from school, he is being terribly naughty"
"Hello is that Mr Jones? This is the police and we are coming to arrest you"
"Hello Mrs Evans you have won a million Rand"

These weren't the actual conversations, I can't remember them all but they went along these lines.

One of the conversations I do remember clearly was made by the boss to his employee: "You stupid woman, you're fired!!"

At this point dad stepped in. "That's enough! You don't talk like that to anyone! You kids are being a nuisance and this stops right now". He had his angry face and stern voice which I'm sure works in most reprimanding situations but the kids just blinked a few times and carried on dialling each other. Why? Mom. She joined in on the fun. Good cop, bad cop.

But sometimes even the toughest cops can be lured to the dark side:
Dad with scary voice: "I know where you are and I'm coming to get you"
Youngest daughter in the next door office: *SHRIEK*
*Scary dad dials the next number* "I know where you are and I'm coming to get you"..... "It's my son, I'm getting burps. He doesn't scare as easily"

Believe it or not we did eventually get around to shooting the cover

The day I became a coffee snob

I have never been a coffee connoisseur, to me coffee is coffee. I lie. Ricoffy is my favourite - don't judge me. I went to a Patrick Holford seminar (not willingly - I got roped into going with my health freak of an uncle), he spoke about caffeine and how bad it is for you, I made a mental note. I had a shoot a few days later and was offered a coffee, I said no thanks (see Patrick? I did listen). The photographer insisted he had good coffee, but I was being 'healthy' and coffee is coffee. Then he mentioned that his wife won the coffee machine. People who win things fascinate me, why can't I ever win stuff? She didn't just win a coffee machine, she won a Nespresso coffee machine! If it's good enough for George it's good enough for me. Okay I'll have a coffee.

What flavour would I like? What? I can choose my flavour? Now I definitely want that coffee you offered!

There is a little booklet that tells you about each flavour, it's intensity level and whether it's best drunk as a cappucino, espresso or latte.

Level 10?? Death by caffeine. I won't be having one of those!

I settled for Dulsao do Brasil - a safe 5. The Thrill of Brazil is one of my favourite nail polishes so I figured I couldn't go wrong with this one.


And just when I thought this couldn't get any more fun he pulled out a container full of flavour refills, and let me fill the box!

Yes colourful things distract me, don't let me get started on shiny things! So you choose your flavour, pop the coffee capsule thing in the machine and it gets to work (I forgot to take a pic while the coffee was brewing so I let the machine make a play play one with water for an action shot)

And ta daaaa a seriously good cup of coffee. Now I know that all coffees are not created equal.

All that was missing was some chocolate sprinkles. And Marvellous George.

.

Pushing buttons

I was part of the team that did makeup for a Schwarzkopf hair show. Francois Nel was the key makeup artist and would give us the brief for each look and then demo the look on a model. Call time was 5-frikken-am, in Midrand. The night before, Francois had insisted I be at an event he was part of so we both only had about an hour and a half of sleep. We were tired. We were cranky. Where was the damn coffee? We were both irritable. And then I got past the irritable phase and got to the overtired, stupid phase.

Francois: Okay guys this look is very natural, I want you to lightly emphasise the facial hair, I don't want it very prominent, on stage it must just look like 5 o'clock shadow

Remember I was in the overtired,stupid phase. I completed my look and took the model for inspection.

Me: *snicker snicker* Francois is this okay?

One day that man is going to murder me.